This is an original post written by Keisha. Thank you for listening to her story. Share your story.
I was so surprised to find StillLookPregnant.com this evening as I was actually googling on what are the appropriate clothes for my shape.
There was an hourglass shape, oval shape, diamond shape, apple shape and pear shape. But I cannot seem to find the… “I am 12 months post-partum after three kids over a 10 year period and my stomach looks like it is housing another child at 6 months gestation” shape.
Oddly enough, the average woman who cannot lose that baby belly does not fit into any category.
I seem to have lost all my breasts by way of breastfeeding but gained the biggest butt in the world; and still kept this absurd belly. It is rather frustrating when you are at work and people will not let you carry heavy items or look at your funny when you are on your 3rd coffee of the day.
Or the worst, when they just come out and ask, “Are you pregnant?”!! I am always mortified. It has been a year and I am still upset when people ask me.
But can I blame them… I seriously look 6 months pregnant at all times.
I think what some woman need to know from experience is that I had 3 boys. My son’s are ages 10, 3 and 1. After baby 1 and 2, my belly went right back into place; flat and pretty. I actually was in the military between baby 2 and 3 and completed basic training and AIT. I lost over 30 lbs and could do 40 push up’s in 2 minutes and run a mile in a breeze. My body was in the best condition of my life!
However, between baby 2 and 3, there was not enough time for my abdominal muscles to heal. So with baby 3, I only gained 20 lbs, but my stomach basically remains the same way it did after I had him. I have seen 3 doctors and they all say, my only option is plastic surgery. With 3 kids, a husband, house and bills… plastic surgery is not an option.
So what is your option for women who still look pregnant and cannot afford the risky plastic surgery to repair the damage of their beautiful births?
Just try to find ways to love it.
I have not gotten to this point but I know it will come.
This summer I went on the beach in a two piece bikini with my kids and I did not feel ashamed at all. So I know I am making strides. Ironically, the more weight I lose, the more my stomach protrudes… so maybe being a little overweight is more aesthetically pleasing for me.
I think all in all… we need to be more supportive as woman.
I know I am not the only 28 year old woman of 3 kids who looks this way. I may feel that way when I cannot find anything to wear to work or feel unattractive in that sexy red dress that used to look oh so fab. But we have to find ways to overlook the pre-defined vision of perfection. That hourglass, symmetrical beauty. We are not perfect and I may be close (LOL)
We all need work on learning to love ourselves – especially for our kids.
Keisha is 28 years old, married, and the mother of three AWESOME son’s ages 10, 3, and 1. She lives in Atlanta, GA, with her family and she works for a hospital.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I am so glad that I came accross this article! It is pretty much my story. I also am 28 and have three boys aged 3,6, and 9. Within a week of having my first son I was smaller then my pre-pregnancy weight, with baby 2 it took about 3 months and I looked great but with baby number 3 I only gained 4lbs (he weighed 7′6) but I cannot get my shape back! No matter how much I work out or watch what I eat I cannot lose my “baby” belly! My youngest is going to be 4 and I am considering surgery but with a family of 5 that is a major expense! I am glad that you are gaining your confidence back and I hope that one day I can feel confident enought to wear a bikini again!
I wish more people would post about this. I am 35 now, but had my first child at 29. I wasn’t exactly thin but lost a significant amount of weight after and felt pretty good. When our daughter turned 2 we decided to try for a boy. Unexpectedly, we got pregnant within 2 months and we got our wish, a healthy baby boy. Because of my age and our finances I was about 99% sure that we were a complete family of four so we used birth control. About a month before my son’s first birthday we found out we were pregnant again, despite the use of birth control. I had not lost much of the baby weight from my son and I was in utter shock. I only gained about 15 lbs. with my third pregnancy and my daughter weighed 7 lbs 13 ounces but I still cannot lose the extra weight and I still look like I am 6 to 7 months pregnant. It did not help that at 3 wks we discovered she was having seizures and at 4 months she had brain surgery. She was diagnosed after that with the genetic condition, Tuberous Sclerosis. We lover her so much and she has been such a beautiful addition to our family. I am now a stay at home mom. Being a mom of a 6 yr old, 3 yr old, and 2 yr is tough at times. I put myself at the bottom of the list most days. I wish that I could at least get my body back. I would love to have the extra energy and confidence again. I feel like I am going to look pregnant forever. I have to say that my husband is very supportive and loves my body in any form but I have a hard time feeling attractive now. Believe me when I say that most people are willing to baby sit 1 or maybe 2 children, but not 3 young children together. Putting our youngest in daycare is not an option due to the fact that we can’t afford it and that any illness she gets makes her seizures worse.
I too have considered surgery but it is expensive and I would not have enough help to be able to recover properly. I would love to read more success stories out there about how other women have gotten back to being close to their normal shape. As for those people who ask us about when we are due, I think it is absolute ignorance. People should not ask questions like that unless they know for a fact that the person is pregnant.
Thank you for this post! I recently found out that I am pregnant again & I am more excited to be able to say “Yes! I AM pregnant!” when people ask then I am about the actual baby, lol. Ok, that is not entirely true but it does make me less insecure about having this big ol gut- although I do fib a little on how far along I am to strangers.
The really crappy thing about this issue (before I found out I am pregnant) is not being proportioned. I have this itty bitty body. My size 3 pants fit fine around my butt & legs but I need a belly band & maternity shirts from the hips up. I was really starting to think this was just me & freaking out about when this pregnancy is over & I am back to just looking that way. So thank you for being so candid & open in your struggle. It’s nice to know others can relate. And kudos to you for sporting the 2 piece. You’re my hero! 