This is an original post written by Hanni. Thank you for listening to her story.
I have two boys, one is three years old and another one is one and a half. They were both quite big babies, both weighing in at almost 4 kg (8.8 pounds). I am quite short (1.62m/5.3 feet) and have a very short upper body, so I carried very large in both my pregnancies, especially with the second one.
People were constantly asking me if I was sure I wasn’t expecting twins. Also, when I was only about 5 months along, people would ask me when I was due – as if I was going in to hospital the next day.
Now, however, a year and a half after my second boy’s birth, I am constantly asked, or people who barely know me (and some who do) inquire as to whether I’m pregnant again. Just the other day, in fact, when I was visiting the zoo with my boys, a lady in front of me started talking to me, and through our conversation she just happened to casually ask:
“When’s your baby due?”
I’m not pregnant at the moment, but wanted to spare her the humiliation, so I answer:
“Oh, I’m not very far along yet.”
On hearing this she replied:
“But you’re so big already!”
I was quite exasperated by this answer, but it didn’t really hit me until my husband and I started making love that night.
Then I started feeling really fat and ugly and sad.
Many others have also recently asked or implied they thought I was pregnant again. I hate this, but know that my tummy does indeed look big enough to think I might be pregnant again. Am struggling to eat the right things as my boys are not sleeping well and I’m constantly tired.
Sweet things are sometimes the only thing that makes me feel like I’m being nice to myself.
Hanni is a mother of 2 very busy boys. She works a couple of mornings a weeks and struggles to keep her weight off after two pregnancies and two big babies (both delivered by C-section). She has no motivation to exercise and she’s eating all the wrong things though she knows she shouldn’t.
If you can relate to Hanni’s story, reach out and leave a commit below…
photo credit: Alyssa L. Miller
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow! I could have written that story myself. I know exactly how you’re feeling. I too carried 2 large boys. One was 11 lbs. 12 oz. and one was 11 lbs. 9 oz. and I’m only 5′2. 2 years later I still look pregnant and you would think I would have the motivation to do something about it after being asked “when my little one was due” at least 3 times a week! I hate clothes shopping and just want to stay home in my elastic shorts and comfy t-shirts!
I totally know how you feel. Me and my kids travel to my home town once a year to watch the fourth of july parade and I always see my old friends. Well my friends hadnt seen me in a year and I had been pregnant then, now this year I had two people ask me if I was trying for a boy this time around. Its thrown me for quite a loop considering I thought I was doing pretty good as far as weight loss goes. BTW I have two lil girls one is 22 months and the other 9 months they were both cesarian. I just feel so horrible about the way I look now and I dont know what to do. So I am also feeling fat ugly and sad
OMG, I could have written this, and I only had one girl and she was a month early and not big at all. I looked five months pregnant at five seconds pregnant. A year later and I look about five months along still. The troublesome thing is a back problem limits my cardio abilities, I’m only five pounds from the minimum weight for my age and height, and I eat right! I hate genetics and I don’t want to look pregnant anymore! If only I had a spare $8000 for a tummy tuck (ya right). Thanks for making me feel not alone.
Hi! You are not olone I am at give birth weight a year and 1/2 later. I also have 2 children. Try to make small strides takes small walks ever little bit helps. I find myself so tired also, its time to add US back into the daily mix!!!! We can do it!!!!!!!
Get a tummy tuck and shove the flat tumy in ther head there a mean nosy people very where , trust me tummy tuck is the answerxxxxxxxxx
I used to train hard and had a shadow six pack, now I have a barrel for a tummy after giving birth to my 2 sons 8lb 4oz and 8lb 2oz within 18 months of each other. I don’t think my body will even be the same
I keep telling myself that I am luck because I have two lovely sons…… But I still feel misshaped and like I am living inside someone else’s body.
wow i thought i was the only one who going thru this. had my lil girl a month early (emergency c-sec). and my lil girl is gonna be 2 in sept. I aalso have a 4yr old, but i lost alot of that preg weight. But my 2nd one, i was at cavernders other day, found this cute shirt, so i went to dressing rooms, o m g, tried it on, made me look more pregnant than i was with the shirt i came in with. mostly i wear dark t-shirts to cover up the preg fat. AND also i cant have anymore kids.
its very discouraging and depressing, almost 2yrs and still look pregnant.
but anyways u arent alone , im tryin zumba, its fun, my kids try to do the zumba with me also…try that!! good luck ladies and to myself
Oh my gosh! I know exactly what you are all going through. I have two boy who are 3 1/2 and 13 months. They were both delivered by c-section. I have been asked numerous times if I’m having another boy or told good for you to be working out while pregnant. My dental hygienist got all excited for me today thinking that I’m pregnant again. I work out all the time and eat good. I weigh less now than in high school. I am really skinny every where else but my belly. It stinks when your belly sticks out more than your boobs. I hate feeling like I have to suck my belly in all the time. We just have to remember we are not alone and things could be worse.
Thank You! My husband thinks I’m eating junk food all the time… I had two big babies for my size too. They are 13 months apart. After a year and a half of my second one I look about 3-4 months pregnant. I’ve been eating healthy and exercising regularly now for the past year. I also exercised all through my first pregnancy and in btw pregnancies. Tired of being told I still looked pregnant I got a personal trainer for the last two months, 3X/wk. I feel in good shape, felt good till a friend told me today that I’d better start doing some sit-ups because from the look of my belly he might still think I’m pregnant. Have amazing legs, good upper body, but that belly just go away. I feel…mmm sad.
Thanks for all your postings.
I only have one child a little girl in 05 it has been 5 and a half years and i am still asked all the time if im pregnant i do my best to eat right and work out at least 3 times a week plus a 40 hr a week job but nothing ever happens i have lost weight in other parts of my body but never and inch in my tummy since she was born.. i feel your pain
Me three. It’s been 2.5 years since the last baby of three and I was working hard at eating right and my stomach just seems to be bigger. Lately the pants I had gotten to fit again are feeling really tight as I haven’t been so good with the food this last month. But I have lost my motivation. I thought if I dieted and lost weight. Lately I’ve been reading about how it is the traverse abdominal muscle I need to strengthen and how crunches can actually make the baby belly worse. I keep trying to accept it but it’s not working. I hate it.
I have twins that are now 14! I was in great shape prior to the twins, I even drove a UPS truck for years…. however now I get asked about once a month when is my baby due. I tend to blast back at them and say 14yrs ago and then we both feel bad… Then I go cry for a while I see that eveyone is dealing with the same thing, but it would be nice if someone had a REAL suggestion for us to get our bodies back seeing how once you split your stomach muscles too far they will not shrink back and I cannot afford the tummy tuck…. I hate my body!
I was googling to find someone with the same problem and I found this! Thanks. It’s been three years since I gave birth to my son 8lbs. Before pregnancy I was fit and in good health. During pregnancy people kept asking if I’m having twins, and was scared I would deliver right on the spot whever I was because I looked so big, I carried him low. I had to have an emergency c-section because he couldn’t come out, I’m only 5′2″.
To date I still look like I’m at least 5 months pregnant. I’ve exercised, ate right, lost all the weight and came back to pre-pregnancy weight, I even looked slimmer than before I was pregnant, but there was the belly still there, smaller than before, but still big, I still looked pregnant. I went to see a doctor about liposuction, his advice was that I needed a tummy tuck, but suggested I wait until after I’m done giving birth. I’m not quite ready for another child yet, so I have to wait and live with this big belly until such time.
THANK YOU ALL! I can’t believe I found this when I googled “I still look pregnant.” I am sad because today marked four people asking when I’m due in the last two weeks! My kids weren’t even big babies (7.7 and 7.0). I have a 5 year old and a 20 month old. I’m not sad because people think I look pregnant, I’m sad because I do look pregnant! I’m 5′5 I weigh 129 and I seriously look five months pregnant. So obviously it is the two c-sections…. does anyone know any fitness experts we could ask about this specifically? I can’t afford a tummy tuck.
I have 3 kids in 5 years. I am 9 month spp and i still get asked daily when the next one is due. Or people who cant tell ask if we are trying for more. It makes me very upset. I know my muscles havnt fused back together. The more i work out and lose weight in other areas the more prego i look. Isnt a bitch that when we are just prego we hope people think we are prego and just after we want to hide in a hole. : ( I am right here with ya ladies!
Hi. I went to the dr 3 days ago and they weighed me. I have two kids 5 and 3 . I am always asked if I am pregnant. I was 135 lbs and I’m 5″7. Now I am 206. I can’t get the weight off. I never had to diet or work out. I have no energy or motivation. I know how you feel. It hurts when people say that. But don’t put mor then 1200 calories in you body a day. I just started 3 days ago. Come on let’s do it. Xxxoo